Just Fine
by Layna Remi
Summary: Nicki is leaving for college and Her and Erin are trying to make it through the goodbyes


So I was going to write an Eddie and Jamie story( Don't worry its still on my mind) but I had this thought pop in to my head about Erin and Nicki saying goodbye and I had to write it. Please Read and Review and let me know what you think, Love Layna.

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Erin looked out the window into the darkened sidewalk; a few street lamps illuminated it dimly. The clock on the stove read 12:46pm but it felt later as she waited for Nicki to come home. She knew that Nicki was out with friends, she was having one last get together before she left for college tomorrow. It was the most dreaded day of her life, the day her only child left for Stanford and spent months away from her.

She looked to the clock and sighed it was 12:50 and while Nicki could sleep on the plane she could not sleep through her job. She clicked the television off and got up placing her feet on the cool hardwood floors. She wished that Nicki would have come home and had one last ice cream and movie night but she knew she wanted to see her friends and besides they had a family dinner yesterday night where everyone said their goodbyes and wished her good luck.

She made her way to the bathroom, brought herself to the sink looking up into the mirror, and again sighed. Her nose was red and raw and her eyes puffy and wet with the silent tears that she cried at the thought of her daughter leaving her for college. She rubbed her face and continued with her nighttime rituals, finally climbing in her and switching off the light and closing her eyes, she guessed that she would just have to say goodbye at the airport.

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Nicki snuck into the apartment at 1:30 and set her keys on the table, she was surprised that her mother was asleep but she knew that this whole week had drained her after all the emotional waterworks. She took her shoes off and quietly tip toed past her mother's darkened room and into her own and flipped the switch on. It looked so bare without her bulletin board and mirror on her wall. Most of her belongings were packed away in boxes; some had been sent there and would be there when she got to California. A few things were still waiting to be packed away and since the plane left at eight, she knew she had to get going.

She had finished in a few minutes and smiled, she was about to start to the next chapter in her life. A gift bag sat on the floor, the family had given it to her yesterday at dinner and she loved it. She walked over, pulled out the scrapbook, and sifted through it.

There was a page dedicated to each member, there was a page of her and her great father, pictures of him helping her walk as she wrapped her hands around his index fingers then a photo of her and him at her graduation party. There was a picture of her as a toddler in the chair at her grandfather's desk, his hat fell over her eyes only able to see her smile as he stood behind her and laughed and then there was a picture of him and her at a family dinner. She continued to her Uncle Danny, he held her when she was born and looked at her doting, a rare face that he had, in the other picture there was her favorite picture of when they went on vacation. Her aunt Linda had a photo of her making cookies with her at age four and then a photo of her from the fashion show. Her Uncle Jamie had a great picture, he was sitting with her under a tree in Central park, she had to be six as he played tea party with her and then another picture of both of them at the DMV cheering as she held her temporary license. The next one a picture of her at age four holding him with the aid of Linda, the other was of him and her at his baseball game. Sean had a similar picture only his now picture was in central park of them laughing at something Jack had said.

Finally, it was her mother's page. It actually took up two pages; the first page was of the ultra sound of her and then pregnancy photos. It transitioned of her holding Nicki in the hospital and then forwards through every age. The last photo was a close up of them; Nick had taken it when they were having a movie and ice cream night. That is when it hit her, when was the next time she was going to be able to just tell her mother she wanted to have one of those nights. She always took them for granted really she took time with her mother for granted, she could do it anytime but now they would be 2,960 miles apart. A lump in her throat rose as she brushed her fingers over the pictures.

She shut the book and stood up taking a few calming breaths before she walked out of her room and into her mother's room. Erin slept soundly, a light snoring came from her making Nicki smile. She carefully made her way to the bed and climbed in careful not to stir her mother. Her efforts were failures as her mother stirred; it only took a minute for her to figure out what was going on.

"Nicki, are you okay?" She asked in a groggy voice, she sat up slightly and turned on the lamp, temporarily blinding herself. Nicki shook her head with a frown on her face and tears welling up in her eyes. Erin looked at her with concern and understanding.

"Honey its okay to be afraid but college will be fun, you'll do great."

"That's not it," She sniffled and wiped her nose with a tissue that her mother handed her.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm going to miss you," She said finally letting the tears spill. Erin gave a small smile as tears of her own fell, she wrapped her daughter in a warm hug and leaned back into her pillows, letting Nicki cry into her. She ran her fingers through Nicki's short hair, hushed her, and began to tell her that she was okay. She kissed the top of her head and held on until the both fell asleep, exhausted from crying.

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When she woke up the next morning to her alarm, she found herself alone. The room was still dark as the sun had not yet risen. She rubbed her eyes and threw her feet over the edge of the bed, the strong smell of coffee filled the air, her mother was up and probably already on her third cup. As she walked down the hall, she took it in, she was her home but she was leaving it behind today. She appeared in the kitchen, finding her mother at the table reading over the tickets and putting little things into her carry on. Nicki cleared her throat to announce her presence; it must have startled her mother because Erin jumped.

"Morning, I wasn't just putting a few snacks in here and a few magazines and books in too, I thought you might get board on a lay over."

"Thanks Mom," Nicki responded as she grabbed a travel mug and filled it halfway with coffee. She was going to miss her mother over protecting her, mothering her and telling her what she needed and what she was supposed to do but now she was and adult and she had to figure it out on her own.

"Okay well go get ready, we are going to be late," Erin said rushing Nicki so they did not have another break down before finishing there to do list. Nicki nodded and walked to her room to get changed.

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The car ride was short and quiet as neither of them wanting to address that Nicki was leaving. When they finally did arrive to the airport, Erin helped her take her bags to the bag check and to get her ticket. The woman at the counter looked like she was miserable and had given Erin attitude causing a slight raise in her voice and to Nicki's amusement some insults, she knew that the way her mother was being was only because she was upset about her departure. They walked to security check and turned to each other.

"Okay, you have your ticket, your id and your bag, now call me when you get to Minnesota okay and don't talk to strangers and make sure you have your wallet. Oh god maybe I should jet get a ticket and come with you and help you set up," Erin was panicky, she was un able to get any days off due to a major case that she had been assigned so right now she was crazy worried.

"Mom, no you have work, I'll be okay." Nick said pulling her bag higher up on her shoulder fidgeting with her wallet.

"Come here," Erin, said grabbing Nicki and hugging her tightly, both of them bursting into tears.

"Promise me you will Skype me at least three times a week and send me updates, text me every day and you know you can call me anytime too even if I don't answer I will call you back."

"I promise mom, just promise me that you won't be a hermit, go out and have fun once in a while I know Aunt Linda would love a Girls Night Out." Erin nodded tearfully as she again pulled Nicki into another hug, kissing her forehead.

"Go before you miss your flight, I love you." She said not wanting to let go.

"I love you too Mom, I'll see you on Skype and then on Thanksgiving break okay." She kissed her goodbye and moved through the security line, at each stop she search through the sea of people, spotting her mother each time as she waved until finally she was no longer visible. She finally made it to her terminal and sat down and pulled out her phone flipping through the photos of her and her friends and family, it was goodbye NYC hello California.

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Erin wiped her eyes as she finally lost visual of her daughter; it was one of the hardest parts of her life. She turned to go, walking out of the airport, to the parking garage, finally seated herself in her car, and broke down; she was so lost, she was not sure what she was going to do with Nicki away at college. Amidst her crying, her phone started to ring and slowly she reached from it, picked it up, and smiled at the caller.

"Hi Jamie," She said in a shaky tone.

"Hey Erin how are you feeling," He asked in his calming and soothing voice.

"To be honest, it feels like someone has taken my heart and stepped on it," She lump in her throat made her voice wobble as she let tears fall.

"Hey I just got off of tour come have breakfast with me, Danny and Linda already agreed they were coming so be there or be square."

"I'll be there, see you soon." She straightened herself out and looked in the mirror and smiled, she was going to be fine, she had her family to be there for her and it was only three more months until Nicki would come back home, She was going to be just fine.

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Nicki sat on the plane staring out the window as the woman next to her flipped through one of the magazines she had lent her. She had long since run out of tears but the sadness was still there but also a hunger, she realized she had missed breakfast. She pulled her bag up from the floor and searched through it, her mother had packed her so much. There were goldfish, muffins, water, carrots, sandwiches, granola bars and some of her favorite candy. She decided on the sandwich and with it she took out another magazine but as she pulled it out a pink envelope fell out of it, It has her name written in cursive but on just any cursive, it was her mother's cursive. She grew anxious, picked it up, and carefully broke the seal. The handwriting was neat as always, in perfect cursive she read in her head.

_Nicki, _

_I am so proud of you and everything that you have become. I know that I am going to miss you like crazy but I know that you will have a great time in college. There are so many opportunities and adventures, you will make so many friends and learn so many new things. You are smarter than you think Nicki and you can excel at anything that you put your mind to and I have no doubt in mine that you will succeed. I also know how stressful things can be so know that I am only a phone call away, I will always answer or call you back when I can. Always know how proud I am of you and that even when you feel ready to quit and are homesick that you will be okay and you can do this. I am going to stop writing because I am sobbing right now and when you come home, I do not want you to give me the third degree._

_I love you Nicki_

_Love Mom_

Nicki let out a small sob as she held the note to her heart and thought of her mother and family, all back home rooting, it made her know that she was going to make it because of the support they had for her.

"Are you alright?" The woman next to her asked with her eyebrow raised as she looked up from the magazine. Nicki nodded and smiled looking at the note again.

"I'm going to be just fine."


End file.
